The girl nex door (3 of 5)
story by TV
I don't know how I got home that night. I was in a trance. I had never, ever, in my wildest dreams thought that I could actually go through with it, that I could fuck a girlboy in the ass and walk away totally, completely changed........ forever. Now that I have had asspussy there was no way I could ever go back to loose sloppy girlcunt. I knew I was lost.
"This must be like what crack addicts feel after their first toke.... Willing to give up everything that is near and dear to them just to get another hit..... one more high..... one more glimpse of Nirvana. Just one more little femmie boygirl, one more tight little asshole, one more soft pair of boy-lips, one more huge cum.... Then I'll quit."
Yeah... right!
I went to sleep and slept the sleep of the dead.... No dreams....No movement.... Complete and utter restorative sleep after living a lifetime of lies.
The next morning I took stock. I was a 37 year old selfish bachelor playboy who never got involved and left countless girls heartbroken. I was wealthy and had a great job. I traveled the world. I was well educated and sophisticated. I bought my clothes in Paris and went to the theatre in London. I met beautiful, sexy available girls all the time... and I bedded as many as I could!!!! I rarely wrote or called home. I went from one fling to the next and....... I was miserable. I hated myself. I was unhappy and unfulfilled and I didn't know what was missing. At least not until I kissed Gina for the first time. I had been totally and utterly... miserably unhappy.
And I had been for years and now I knew it. Now I couldn't deny that I had found something so powerful and so right that made a sham of the emptiness of my previous life. I couldn't lie to myself about the fact that I had been a totally self-absorbed, cruel, creep of a man... totally and utterly selfish and living only for my own pleasure.... Only, irony of ironies, I didn't even know until now what it was that I needed that would truly give me pleasure.
And worst of all, I was coming to grips with my own need for fetishistic sex. Why had I always made my girlfriends wear the most outrageous lingerie? Why had I refused to fuck a girl who didn't keep her underwear on? Was it because I needed them to hide the fact that they didn't have that certain something that I found out last night that I craved.... That I needed... That I desperately, cravenly had to have in order to feel complete: A big fat, deliciously hard, throbbing, blue-veined, cum-filled, creamy smooth, unbelievably hot and pulsing cock. And why didn't I throw out or return the panties and the camies and the nightgowns and the stockings and garter belts and bras that my girlfriends invariably left behind... (Much like a dog leaves a marker behind to carve out its territory? Yes, it's true. I did think of them as dogs... as bitches to be mounted and used and then left. I guess my lack of respect for them should have been telling me something all along. But I also guess that I was too dumb or too scared to admit my desires, my needs, my wants even to myself.) Were those girls who left things behind trying to let others.... and me.... know that they belonged at my place? Or were they trying to leave a bit of themselves behind to remind me that I was crass and cruel and that I just used them.
There was no denying it now. Not after what I did last night with that unbelievably gorgeous creature next door. I wanted that thing. I wanted to be on my knees in front of her, with her dress up, worshipping her unbelievably beautiful girlcock with my mouth and stroking it with my hands and tickling the balls with my finger tips and getting it to the point where it needed to shoot.... to release..... to spray..... to pump.... to cream.... to cum all over my face. I needed and wanted and was obsessed with having to feel the spunk, the jizz, the love-juice on my hands and on my fingers and in my mouth and on my face and then to be able to rub it into her soft smooth, golden skin, into her softening cock and her balls and her thighs and if I couldn't have that again I'd go crazy, nuts, insane.
But what was I going to do? Could I really give up my previous life, all of my fun times for one tiny little nothing of a queer..... Big, macho, womanizing, heartless, hedonistic Mark give up his stable of cunt? No way? C'mon man, snap out of it. This is crazy. OK, so you had one little fling... Big deal. Forget it. Forget her... him... whatever.
In fact, avoid her. Forget you wrote that note. Don't even get tempted. Go back to your life. She's just a lonely little fag who suckered you in a moment of weakness. Have a drink. Go to work. Call up Sherry and get laid properly.
I was thrilled and all day before our date I could barely keep my mind on work. I am a male secretary in an office full of men. I am very good at it as I love to be told what to do by strong men. No arguing, no whining. I just do what I am told, the way they like it..... kind of like the way I like my sex..... as an object of men's lust and a receptacle for their pleasure. I love being dominated and I especially want men to tell me what to think and what to do and how to do it. When you make men happy they can be so appreciative. They will give you pretty things and buy you what you want and treat you like the queen you want to be. It's a two-way street. You be nice to them and they'll be nice to you. Normally, I love my job and focus all of my attention on the tasks I had to do but today I could think of nothing but what I would wear and what I would do to get him to fuck me again. I can be such a scheming little bitch in heat. When I want to get fucked I will do ANYTHING to get my ass full of the cock I need.
I think I should explain my past a bit so you can understand my deepest psychological needs and why I became the pretty little girlboy that I am. I learned about men from my mother. She was widowed soon after I was born and she never remarried. She had inherited a large insurance policy and had kept to herself for a long time after my father's death. I was sent to school but she rarely left our house. I didn't know why at the time. I thought it was because all the men she would meet would try to get her to sleep with them. Widows are considered fair game in my country for any man to use for their pleasure and their lives in public can be hell..... Later, I found out it was because she didn't think she wanted to return to the life she had known before she had me. But she was wrong. I found out she needed that life DESPERATELY.
Mom was too young to handle the insurance money or the loneliness and it didn't take her long to start drinking too much to dull the pain of her life. She always liked getting high but it got worse with the loss of dad. I would come home from school and rush in to greet her and as she opened her arms and hugged me close I could smell the whiskey. But I was too young to know about the down side of drinking. What I saw at 11 years old was how sexy and wantonly slutty she became when she was high.
Many afternoons I would come home to find her sitting at her vanity dressed only in a negligee or in a corset with stockings putting on makeup. I know now that she did it on purpose to get me hot and bothered. I used to love watching her do her makeup and I would get an erection from the sight and especially the smell of it all. I especially liked watching her put mascara and eyeliner on and when she put a really dark lip liner on and painted her lips to a glossy red I would reach down and slowly stroke my cock. It was the most exciting thing in the world for me to watch. Even to this day, the simple act of a woman or tgirl putting on her face transports me to a dream world of pleasure and sensualism. But I didn't know she liked watching me get hard and jacking my little cock while staring at her. She later told me how she would diddle herself with her free hand while watching me stroke my dick. She got to LOVE cumming with me watching her do her makeup. The makeup and the lingerie and the cumming got all mixed up in both of our brains I think to the point where we didn't know which caused which.... And I didn't care. I just loved to watch her and to wank and to cum.
But even though she spent hours doing her makeup and dressing in her frilliest, sexiest lingerie she never had any visitors nor ever went out. I was glad because I wouldn't have been able to deal with it if she had. You see, I was in love with her and wanted her all to myself. I didn't want anyone to see what she would do with me after she drank so much that she didn't know what she was saying or doing. I didn't want anything to come between us or put a stop to our activities.
Most children hate having an alcoholic mother. But I craved it and went to school every day praying that she'd be bombed out of her mind by the time I got home. You see, she didn't need other men. Instead, she turned all of her attention on me. By the time I was a teenager and knew what men and women do to and with each other, I'd get home and hear her say, "You're my little man, aren't you sweetcakes? Oooo, it's sooooo good to have a big gorgeous male like you around the house to look at me and admire me.... You do like looking at Mommy don't you babydoll? Hmmm? Don't you think Mommy is pretty? Don't you like looking at Mommy's titties and her smooth, sweet smelling pussy through this sexy see-through wrap? I shaved my cunny all nice and smooth for my little man. Don't you want to look at it and feel it? Hmmmm? Don't you want to come over here and show Mommy how much you love her? You know why I dress so provocatively don't you doll? Don't you know how much Mommy misses having a rough, hard, horny man around to give me what I need? Oh babycakes, I really need you to love me. Come over here and love Mommy. Come and show me how big and hard and horny her little man is. C'mon sweetie, come to Mommy and let me spread my legs for you. Come and give Mommy's sweet soft pussy a nice little suck before you fuck the shit out of me."
And then she'd crook her finger at me and beckon me to come to her. When I'd get to her side she would bring me around to stand between her legs and I would feel her begin to rub her stockinged thighs against my haunches and reach her hands down to my ass and pull me in close to her. My cock would be raging hard and she would bend her face down and slowly lick my lips till my mouth opened a little. Then, she would kiss me and snake her tongue into my mouth and pull my hands up to her tits so I could rub them and pinch them and make her moan in ecstasy. It wouldn't be long before she'd be reaching down to open my zipper and pull out my cock and slide it into her dripping pussy. We'd fuck with her sitting at her vanity and me standing between her legs, thrusting hard. I loved that position cuz I could look down over her shoulder at all of her makeup and women's things and get hornier because I was so close to it.
Her nails would dig into my shoulders and buttocks and she'd bite my neck and claw my back and wrap her legs around me and pull me so close that I could barely fuck. But that was OK cuz she'd be rubbing her clitty so hard against me that she'd cum buckets and then slump into a dreamless drunken sleep. I would then do whatever I wanted to her. I'd fuck her pussy and sometimes I'd pull out and cum all over her face. I loved watching my hot sticky white cum drip down off of her heavily mascara-ed eyelashes, down her nose, all over her lips.
What she didn't know was that I had fallen so deeply under the magical spell of her makeup ritual that I wanted to make myself up too. And so I would sit at her vanity all night while she slept off her drunken binge and do my face. I would try style after style. I would set my hair and comb it into every sexy look I could think of. I would shape my nails and varnish them. I would spray myself in perfume and then, little by little as the days went by I started to experiment with her lingerie. At first, I don't know why I did it. All I knew was that I loved the feel of her girly femme clothes adorning my soft young boy's body and I loved how sexy and slutty I looked all made up and dolled up in her finest, frilliest underwear.
Gradually however, I began trying on more and more of her things till finally I would transform myself completely into a totally sexy, foxy, gorgeous trannie. By this time I was about 15 and when I was completely dressed and made up I looked 25. It was the sexiest thing I could imagine doing and in spite of the fact that I had just fucked my mother and cum in her mouth or her cunt or in her tight ass, I would look at myself in the mirror and immediately get hard again and have to masturbate through her panties until my jiz sprayed out and soaked the lace or the satin and would cool off and run down my cock and balls and onto my stockinged thighs. After many months of this, most of her sexiest dresses had cum stains on the front from me. Luckily, mom was too far gone to notice..... or so I thought.
But you know, it doesn't take a lot to go from alcohol to move on to drugs. And then before you know it you're an addict and you'll do anything for the high. Mom started by taking Quaaludes. She loved the way it made her float she said. One afternoon when I got home from school she wasn't as drunk as normal and when I came into her bedroom she was lying on her bed with a huge vibrator in her pussy. Her legs were in the air and she had her fingers up her asshole. She looked over at me and though I thought she'd ask me to replace the dildo, she only smiled and asked me to go to the kitchen and bring her some more of her big blue pills.
When I got back, she took one and told me that I should join her. She told me how much fun we'd have if I got all loose like her. A few minutes after I swallowed it, I felt hornier and sexier than I had ever felt in my life and Mommy started laughing and reached out to undo my belt. As she slowly undressed me she kissed every inch of me and told me how she enjoyed our afternoon sex sessions.
" Ooooooo, babydoll, you know I really love getting high and being fucked. But sweetie, as much as I adore you, I need more. I am such a slut whore. Oooo babydoll let's go out and pick up some men for me, OK? It will be soooo much fun. I mean, I love you and you turn me on.... Especially when I feel the way I feel now.... So high and bombed.... Don't you want to make me happy? Well then, help me get more cocks to fuck and suck."
"Mom, I can't go out with my own mother to help her pick up men to fuck her. Men won't like to see a young boy doing that."
"But huney, you won't be a young boy. You'll be Gina, my girlfriend." Came her smooth reply. I was stunned and silent. " Oh sugar, don't be embarrassed. I know what you've been up to after you think I've checked out for the night when you've given me my dose of drugs and cum..... I know you adore becoming a young slutty girl. I've been watching you and I think you are sexier than most real girls. I really do. I also know what you are. Do you?" she asked.
"There's a name for what you do. Did you know that? I'll bet you were worried about it and you thought you were sick because you like to become a little slut-girl. Right? But actually, you are just like your Daddy. I married him and avoided all other men because he was so special. He knew how to make a woman happy because he WAS a woman. Not genetically, but in his heart. He was a trannie, a crossdresser, and you are exactly like him.... There are lots of men like you sweetheart. Don't worry, it's normal in a way and there are lots, and lots, and lots of men who would pay any price to play with you. Would you like to be a woman totally, huney? Well, you can't be until you've been with a man and know how to make a man happy."
I was stunned and terrified. It was all coming too fast. I thought she must be saying all this cuz she was so bombed from the drugs. I started to cry.
"Oh huneeeeeyyyyy, don't cry. You're my special little man. You know exactly what to do to make Mommy happier than she's been in years. You know sooooo much. Especially in how well you know how to please a woman in bed. You're the best lover a girl could have. But it's time you learned what I had to teach your father. That as good as a pussy can be, there is absolutely nothing like hard cock. Once you get a taste of that sweetie, you'll be as hooked on men as I'm hooked on my bottle and my pills."
I was shocked. How could she talk to me that way. I was a 15 yr. old boy. OK, so I liked to dress up in her clothes and wear makeup and style my hair. And yes, I do get more excited by Gina than I do by anything else, including Mom's open legs and mouth and ass. But, how could she think I liked men? Yech!!!! Gross!!!! No way.
She didn't mention it again. Instead the pills had really kicked in and we were both flying high as kites. She asked me to put on a little fashion show for her. Mmmmm, I was feeling so horny. I made mom go downstairs while I took a bubble bath and luxuriated in the feeling of being the woman I dreamed of becoming.
I had been shaving my legs and armpits for months now and took a long time making sure there wasn't a hair left on me from my eyebrows down. After I dried off, I rubbed Dune lotion all over my skin till it was creamy smooth and then I powdered my girlcock. I sat down and plucked my brows to a high thin arch and proceeded to do my face in an extremely heavily madeup way. I put on three coats of mascara. I wanted to look as vampy as possible that night. When I was done. I put on my favorite pink and white satin corset that pulls my waist down to 24 inches and pushes my hips and butt out into a really feminine form. I attached some of Mom's Wolford lacetop stockings with a back seam and reinforced toe and heel to the garter tabs. When I stood up I almost swooned from the feel of the straps biting into my thighs and butt flesh as they pulled my stockings tight over my legs. Very retro. Very hot. I then pulled up a teensy sheer pink lace thong and tucked my tool in and down so there was no telltale bulge. I slipped on the matching bra and put my C cup silicone breastforms into the cups. (The ones I had found in with some old clothes in the closet. Now that I knew about Dad, I understood where they came from and I wanted to cry, it felt so good to be so close to him.) Next came a full-skirted black chiffon, multi-layered, backless cocktail dress. It looked very Cuban, very fifties and extremely hot and the finishing touch was a pair of 4" open toed strappy heels.
One last look in the mirror and I knew I was ready to stun. I wasn't sure I could walk straight as I had never been this drunk before.... But I have to admit I felt divine and I felt divinely beautiful. I felt like I could melt any man or woman with one look. When I got downstairs Mom gasped and started shaking. She called me over to her to where she was seated. As I stood in front of her she reached out and caressed my legs but she couldn't stop there. She snaked her way up my legs and freed my cock from its lacy confines and pulled me forward so she could give me the blowjob of my life. It didn't take 3 minutes before I poured my cream down Mom's hungry throat. I felt wonderful. We were still both very high and giggled like naughty schoolgirls. Within minutes Mom had us both dressed to kill and out the door.
Twenty minutes later we were standing on the sidewalk in a well-known red light district. I was completely stunned when most of the girls came running over to find out how Mom was. And to ask where she'd been and how was she, etc. etc. When I asked what was going on, the girls just giggled and waited for mom to tell me how she and dad used to work this street as hookers. And then she announced how great it was to be back and to have a new trannie partner.... Me!
I worked the streets with Mom for three years. We were the highest paid prostitutes in the city and the most well known. But I started to want to fall in love and so I left and went off on my own and left mom working King Street and here I am. Dreaming of my Markie and what I will wear tonight to make him want me. I think I'm in love and I will do anything to make him happy. Every man has a kink, every man has secret needs and wants. I know I'll discover his.
I spent most of that week in an alcoholic fog. I stayed up late drinking and woke up late with a headache not really remembering what I done the previous night. I went to work but couldn't stay focused. I'd miss appointments and cancel meetings. I was a total mess. All because I couldn't get Gina and her big throbbing love muscle out of my mind. I would relive the feeling of my cock pumping into her incredibly tight ass. I could feel her fingers grazing my skin. I could see her eyes looking at me with fire in them begging me to take her and make her the woman she craves being.
After work I would pick up one of my girlfriends and go out dancing and drinking and wind up back at their place and try to fuck them but I couldn't get hard. The more I tried the smaller my dick got. I was really freaked out. I had never.... not once.... failed to be ready for the big event. After three dates on three nights, all turning out the same way, I gave up and just stayed home all alone drinking. I couldn't perform for them. I let them down. I was sure they were talking about me to their girlfriends and telling them that I must be a fag cuz I was impotent around them. Nothing they tried had gotten me hard... not sucking or hand jacking or kissing or watching porno flicks or having them do an erotic strip tease... nothing. I was a dud, no good to any girl who needed a good fucking. Yet late at night when I was sufficiently drunk.... when, by all rights, I shouldn't have even been functional, those erotic thoughts of Gina crept back into my mind and I would immediately go hard in a fit of overwhelming physical need that I'd never imagined before, let alone experienced. Nothing would satisfy it or let it go down until I had relieved myself in a paroxysm of tormented, filthy lust with my mind filled with images of Gina in the skimpiest, frilliest, sexiest, lingerie imaginable. I'd see her right there in front of me and she was so real that I could smell her and taste her and almost touch her and when I did, her honey, golden skin would ripple with pleasure and her flat little titties would balloon out to overflow her bra and I would get hard and all I could do was to free my cock from my satin pyjama covered crotch and slowly, lightly tickle it and stroke it as if she were doing it.... Full of love and tender lust for me.
And then I'd cum. I would cum so hard and so fiercely and shoot so much spray that I would black out only to find my hands and crotch and stomach and balls and cock covered with dried crusty jism early the next morning and I would groggily stretch out and feel so much contentment that when I would try to reach out beside me to wrap my arms around her and pull her soft tight ass to my crotch, I would wake up fully and cry out in dismay and pain and loneliness because the one person in the world that I needed wasn't there. Why? Well, because I was too proud to admit that I was gay and I loved girlcock and I needed her hardness in my mouth and in my hands and her soft smooth ass nestled into my crotch and her long languid arms wrapped around my neck and her long painted nails running through my hair and scratching my back and butt and thighs as she pulled me frantically against her in the middle of a deep, dark, soul-searingly satisfying fuck.
It was no use. I couldn't keep away. I needed to be with her. I wanted to see her. I wanted to love her and make love to her. I wanted all of my friends to see her and be jealous of me for having her, for being with her, for having her nibble my neck and stick her tongue in my ear and reach her perfectly manicured hand for my cock, and all the while having them stare dumbfounded with horny male want and desire and need and lust. And I wanted the two of us to laugh at the fact that they would be jealous of me and lusting after my "girl" and want me to share her with them the way I used to share all of my girlfriends yet all the while knowing how incredulous their shock would be at reaching for her furry pussy only to find an enormous and scalding hot cock.
I would have to contact her tomorrow and confirm our date. I couldn't wait now. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down her door and ravaging her in her bed.
Story posted by TV
on Sunday, April 25, 2004 @ 22:52:10 PDT
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